My Journey with Depression: The Great Awakening
Updated: Jul 17, 2020
I have reemerged out of the ashes of my two year sabbatical. Not to sound melodramatic but I was in the underworld doing shadow work. Believe me, it was not by choice. Now that I have come full circle and back into the light; in hindsight it all makes sense. I'm not sure if I shared this with you but I have been struggling with depression since I was 11 years old. All thoughout high school, college, and adulthood I was always drawn to helping people, hold space, and inspiring others with my optimistic personality (my friends even coined me as Optimysty). On the surface I was happy, funny, and creative but deep down in the basement of my psychology there was a lingering of despair and sadness that I just couldn't shake off. No matter how great my life was on the outside I was rotting away on the inside. It took me to have one of the most intense mental breakdowns that led me to not only getting the help I needed but an understanding of what was wrong. See I had a pretty shaky upbringing. I was repeatedly molested by my 14 year old cousin when I was two years old. For most of my childhood my father was a heroine addict, alcoholic, and was physically abusive towards my mom. As a result my mom, myself, and little brother lived in a women's shelter for three months. I went to 7 different grade schools due to parents breaking up and getting back together. I struggled with my weight in my early teen years, had a hard time fitting in, and would dissociate to the point that it affected my grades in school.
Believe it or not within all this chaos I was still a bright shining star. Always willing to listen and cared about the wellbeing of the people around me. In Jr.high school I was president of the student body, was a peer advisor in high school amongst other leadership positions. I learned and mastered pushing my negative feelings down...but I could only do that for so long. It wasn't until my mental breakdown two years ago that I realized I had a traumatic upbringing. Up until that point I just thought something was wrong with me.
With any healing you first have to become aware and then break out of any denial you have about your trauma. Once I was able to face the past and accept the fact that I was raised in a dysfunctional environment, I began to heal in ways I couldn't imagine. Please know that this is not about putting my parents down. They did the best they could with what they knew. I am blessed to have a beautiful relationship with them and they both are truly living their best life. This journey is all about my inner child which is the art of shadow work. In order to truly heal and obtain sustainable happiness we must do our shadow work...there is no way around it.
It's been a miraculous journey and has deepened my passion for healing and helping other women heal themselves. I am delighted and grateful to share that I am back in service. I am more fired up than ever to utilized all that I have experienced and learned to help any woman struggling with depression or any form of mental blockages. I want us all to experience sustainable happiness. We can have it if we put in the inner work. What I have leaned from this last experience is that we cannot do it alone. I now have an incredible support team in place that consist of a therapist, coach, support group, and a strong spiritual practice. This support allows me to focus on my life's purpose which is assisting women in their healing.
There is so much more to share and I want to share it all with you. This will be the beginning of a new dialogue as I continue my journey towards healing depression. It is an ongoing journey that takes mental, emotional, and spiritual maintenance. My only hope is to inspire.
If you or any woman you know is struggling with depression and want to explore a holistic approach please reach out to me. It would be my honor to hold that space and be a gentle tour guide out of the dark into the light. It's a path that I know very well and I even have a map. For daily inspiration visit my Instagram: www.instagram.com/mystymoonwellness/ Website: https://www.mystymoonwellness.com